[Video Essay] Tinderella

Floor Plan

Storyline

Once upon a time, there was a girl who is always bored at home, constantly working on studies. One day, she discovered the dating app called “Tinder”, where she entered a fairytale and met 3 tinder dates — Charming, Daniel and Carlos. Charming is like Cinderella’s prince charming, Daniel is modern-ish humorous, and Carlos is looking into a serious relationship. She constantly flirts with them. The only tinder date who continued to chat with her is Carlos, and Carlos asked her on a “virtual” date. The girl wears makeup for him, waits for him, until they finally met each other. The girl uses extreme video filters to dress up herself, pretty, for Carlos. After midnight, the girl fell head to toe in love with Carlos. The next morning, she woke up after this wonderous dream, as seems her memory was passed out. She got back to reality and worked, ate, read…Carlos kept on “breadcrumbing” the girl, but she never replied. In the end, Carlos blocked the girl, and they never spoke again. The girl got bored eventually after the day and searched for Tinder dates again in this wonderous dating app.

 

Meaning of video

Virtual non-place: It was discovered in my research that dating online gives an illusion of “real dating”. The girl thought she was in a wonderland when she was using Tinder, like entering a fairytale, but in reality, she is not. In actuality, online dating is to kill for boredom, make friends, hook-up with people, sharing information, flirting, but not a single option for building a deep relationship. It is a “virtual non-place” for people to “swipe around”, for leisure, gaining self-esteem by receiving “99+ likes” on Tinder etc. You can date multiple people online, and having “many” matches is already not a “betrayal” action in the future of dating. You can also be different people in this non-place. playing different characters, losing one’s identity. Subsequently, I have a pessimistic view of dating in the future of 2021. Sarcasm is portrayed in the video, showing a dreamy, optimistic, feeling in the whole process in Tinder, but in reality, I want to show a “no-love” society in the year of 2021, the future of the pandemic.

 

First impression: Dating online means not going to coffee shops anymore and meet people, they spend more time at home and swipe until they meet the right person. No more physical distance is considered. Place to space dates will in the future be transformed from two places dating. Dating is not intimate anymore. Just introducing yourself and the first impression “sells” you. So the fact of putting on makeup, using video filters, which is popular in applications like Tik Tok and Snow right now, means online dating is able to dress up people to another person, a prettier, more ideal girlfriend/boyfriend. The girl in the video is putting makeup and using snow filters to express her only effort in dating, and that may be a future romance phenomenon.

Script

*Deadline fighting*

*Sign*

*Into fairytale*

Charming swiped right for you!

Daniel swiped right for you!

Carlos swiped right for you!

Charming is charming

Me // 2:04pm You look like my prince charming :3

Charming // 4:32pm Yep, found your lost slipper 🙂

Me // 2:04pm I want to be part of your kingdom 4ever :)))))

Daniel is hilarious!

Me // 4:31pm I need motivation to work…

Daniel // 4:32pm I m the coffee to your expresso, and I love u a latte.

Me // 4:32pm HAHAHA UR SO FUNNY XD TELL ME MORE PUNS

Me // 10:46pm OMG I luv horses too

I’m so sleepy…but I want to chat with Carlos too

Carlos // 10:46pm …We r meant to be together

Carlos // 10:47pm Let’s video call tmr, I want to see u in-virtual person

Makeup day…

…to get ready

…for my video date

What a starry romantic night

When is Carlos picking me up?

*Knock knock*

Hi Carlos!

After midnight…

Carlos // 1:26am You look so good with filter

Me // 1:26am Thanks!!! :)))))))

Carlos // 1:26am I love you.

Me // 1:26am I love you too.

*bell ringing*

*funny vids*

Carlos // 10:54am Hey reply my message!

Carlos // 10:54am Why didn’t u answer my call?

Carlos // 10:54am REPLY PLSSSSS

Carlos // 10:54am HELLLOOOOOO

*Work*

*Eat*

*Read again*

TINDER

Future citizens’ non-place

 

Soundtrack lyrics

So this is love – Cinderella

 

So this is love, Mmmmmm

So this is love

So this is what makes life divine

I’m all aglow, Mmmmmm

And now I know

The key to all heaven is mine

My heart has wings, Mmmmmm

And I can fly

I’ll touch ev’ry star in the sky

So this is the miracle that I’ve been dreaming of

Mmmmmm

Mmmmmm

So this is love

 

Interview

An interview was done with Tinder users Siscilie, Andy and Tiffany, since I do not have experience using online dating apps. Since the allegory is in first-person perspective, I want to discover Tinder users’ inner feelings and thoughts on online dating, so my research will be more in-depth.

 

What are the online dating apps you use and what are the distinctive traits of the dating apps? Please tell me the differences between the dating apps you use.

Siscilie: I only use tinder. People either swipe left, right or super like on someone and if the other party swipes right or super likes you as well, you match. I don’t believe there’s anything really that distinctive about Tinder, since it’s more of a general dating app and you can swipe on anyone who’s near your location. However, I’ve heard my friends use other dating apps such as bumble, where the girl has to make the first move, and even vegan-only dating apps.

Andy: I use Grindr and Tinder. Grindr is mainly targeting the LGBTQ community while Tinder is for all genders and sexuality. They both detect people through location distance and your desired age range, for Grindr however, there would be more detailed categories you can choose when selecting a person (e.g. Top, bottom, other LGBTQ terminologies). As for Tinder, the main feature is to match a person, and if they “match” you back you can start chatting and to know each other more, however, Grindr lacks this feature, where it is more open and spontaneous, you can chat with whatever profile that pops up.

Tiffany: Goodnight: randomly finds a person and phone call for 7 minutes, then you can press either continue or bye. Tinder: swipe left or right and if both swipe right then they can chat.

 

Why do you use dating apps?

Siscilie: At first I downloaded it because I wanted to get to know more people and possibly get into a relationship. But I eventually deleted it and the next few times I downloaded it was to hook up.

Andy: To find friends or relationships, especially during a pandemic where social distancing is crucial, online communication would be more convenient.

Tiffany: Use them when I’m bored.

 

Which online dating app do you like the most and why?

Siscilie: I can’t really say because I only use tinder.

Andy: Tinder, because it is more traditional and people using the app is more serious, less looking for hook-ups but more for friends and relationships.

Tiffany: Neither.

 

What kinds of people do you meet in all the dating apps you use? Is there a difference of types of people in your downloaded dating apps?

Siscilie: Honestly like all sorts of people are on tinder. I feel like most people on tinder are there to hook up as well. It’s hard to find anyone who wants a serious relationship on tinder. I feel like most people who want something serious use bumble instead.

Andy: Yes, the ones on Grindr are more playful and more sexually attractive, while the ones on Tinder is more serious and focused more on the person itself and our chat process.

Tiffany: All apps have different types of ppl, some find sex partner, some just wanna be friends with you, some are just bored like me, some really wants to date.

 

Have you ever felt being whoever you want when talking to different matches? Explain.

Siscilie: I understand the possibility of it and I’ve definitely seen people catfish but for me, I would just be myself. I think that’s the best way to get someone to like me.

Andy: No, first impressions are important in online communication, as we first look at profiles, we judge hard by peoples physical appearance, although I didn’t fake my profile but there are a lot of “catfishes” out there that fakes themselves. Moving to the chatting part, a lot of us may chat in a different manner or use wordings just for the aim to favour another, and less of being ourselves

Tiffany: No, I will always be myself, what’s the point of faking it.

 

Will you change your tone of texting with different online dating users?

Siscilie: Not really unless I’m sexting.

Andy: Yes.

Tiffany: No.

 

What is the difference of only dating online and dating with a physical partner? (If you never dated anyone, you can also explain with people who physically date around you)

Siscilie: I haven’t officially dated anyone online but I’ve texted them and been on dates. In general, I didn’t feel the connection as much and I often didn’t know what to expect when I went on dates with them. I feel like it’s much easier to know if you vibe well with someone if you meet them in person. The time I got into a relationship I thought I clicked pretty well with my ex-boyfriend. Plus even with people I’ve hooked up with or felt attracted to that wasn’t from tinder, the connection was definitely much stronger when I first met them. Whereas I didn’t feel the connection much when I went on dates or hooked up with tinder guys.

Andy: I never experienced only dating someone online, I have to meet the physically before dating or moving forward.

Tiffany: You’ll never be able to know the other person truly unless u see them physically and see him/her with their family and friends and see how he socialise with other people.

 

Is the coronavirus pandemic in 2020 making you use the online dating apps more often?

Siscilie: Honestly I downloaded tinder as a joke during quarantine because I was bored and I wanted to judge the guys in different countries and also find out if anyone I knew from Hong Kong had tinder. I didn’t really talk to any of my matches though.

Andy: Yes, as it is more accessible while social distancing and very convenient itself, especially when there are a lot of choices and users you can choose or match from.

Tiffany: A bit because most of the time you are home and you have nothing to do.

 

Do you think you can find true love during social distancing?

Siscilie: No absolutely not. I feel like for me personally, I can’t form a connection with anyone I don’t meet in person, much less fall in love.

Andy: No, I was hurt by my ex whom I have started dating for 4-5 months after knowing him from online.

Tiffany: Yes.

 

Do you think virtual dating is applicable in the long term? Explain your reasons.

Siscilie: I’d say yes because technology is much more advanced now and more people are using these apps to find love. I do know people who are in a healthy long-term relationship who met on tinder so I think for some people it does work. Plus now that there are apps for certain types of people (like vegans, LGBTQ + etc) it works a lot better.

Andy: Not at all, dating or loving requires physical and spiritual connection, at least to me, to form a true bond or a long term emotional connection.

Tiffany: No definitely not, because it’s hard to not physically see your partner.

 

What do you do after you run out of topics with the dating users? Will they disappear in your life? Will you still remember him or her?

Siscilie: No I won’t remember them much except the few I’ve talked the most to. I had like 100+ matches at one point so there was no way I’d remember all of them. We honestly just kind of mutually ghost each other and don’t talk much anymore. I am only in touch with one guy from tinder but that’s also because I met him in real life first so to me there’s a stronger connection there than with other tinder guys. The only reason I’d be reaching out to old tinder guys would be to have sexual intercourse.

Andy: Yes, we won’t chat anymore, but we do exchange contacts, I probably won’t remember him, but will only remember their presence.

Tiffany: I don’t initiate the conversation, so if they stop then I’ll stop, does not affect my life because my intension of using dating apps is not for dating but just socialising with people.

 

Bibliography

Brown, Abram. “Coronavirus Is Changing Online Dating Permanently.” Forbes

“How Dating Apps Are Innovating with New Features in Response to Coronavirus – Econsultancy.” Econsultancy

“If You’re Sick of Being Single, It’s Time to Download a New Dating App.” Good Housekeeping

“‘Netflix and Ill’ Anyone? Online Dating in the Time of Coronavirus.” Euronews

“Online Dating Probably Will Get a Boost from Pandemic, UAH Sociologist Says.” The University of Alabama in Huntsville

Preston, Dominic. “Tinder Just Added a Load of New Safety Features.” Tech Advisor

 

Name: Wong Kai Yan Michelle

UID: 3035664300